Dealing with the GAP between your Dream and your Reality

Disappointment hurts. Feelings of sorrow always follow on the heels of unmet expectations.  Sometimes there is a GAP between our Dreams and our Realties. And it's in that GAP we experience disappointment, doubt and sometimes disillusion. 

We've all had to stand in this painful GAP.

• Your fundraising campaign came in thousands of dollars short of the goal. Your recruitment weekend resulted in no new leaders for your ministry.
• The new believer you've discipled for six months goes back into his old lifestyle
• The couple you've counseled for hours upon hours files for divorce. 
• You have to close the doors of your church plant after 18 hard months of trying to grow a new church. 
• The elders of the church decide you're not a good fit for the job and tell you it's time for you to start looking for a new position in another church. 

These things happen, and these things hurt. But, it's in the GAP God can speak. It's in the GAP God can show up. It's in the GAP God can show off. It all depends on how you look at the GAP and what you do in the GAP. 

Our natural inclination in the GAP is to move towards isolation. When I experience disappointment, the last thing I want to do is show my face. I want to hide, lick my wounds, pout, and feel sorry for myself. I want to complain, criticize, and point fingers of blame.  But these self-made remedies do not heal the pain, and they certainly will not help me discover the perspective and the power of God in my situation. 

Solomon warns us in Proverbs 18:1, "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment" (ESV).

Another inclination in the GAP is to criticize people, institutions, groups, or processes. I've discovered that while criticism may feel good at the moment, it poisons my soul.  A critical spirit keeps the eyes and ears of my soul from seeing what God is doing in my situation. 

A third inclination in the GAP is to look for someone to blame. Often, the cause of discouragement is a failure on our behalf. So, to avoid the pain, some personalities will blame others around them.  

While frustrating, detours are beneficial because they remind you that you are not in control and keep you listening to the heart of God. Sometimes it's God's plan that things not go as I planned. God desires to use the detours, interruptions, and obstacles to grow your courage, persistence, patience, endurance, character, and humility. 

But to get God's perspective and experience His power, we must avoid our natural inclinations of isolation, criticism, and blame. So instead of isolation, move toward community.  In times of discouragement, God uses the voices of others to encourage us and give us His perspective. 

Instead of criticism, move toward faith. Criticism is a negative spirit that points to the past.  Faith is an optimistic spirit that puts its dependence on God and points to the future.  

And, instead of blame, move toward confession. Admit your mistakes, take responsibility for your part in the situation.  Blame creates a culture of mistrust, while confession cleanses your soul and builds authenticity among a team. 

If you are standing in the GAP of disappointment, between your Dream and your Reality, leverage the GAP to get God's perspective. And when you understand God's perspective, you will begin to experience God's power in your situation. How you manage the GAP is essential because sometimes we allow our perspective of God to be based on our disappointments rather than His Divine revelation. 

Remember, sometimes, God's plan is for things not to go according to plan. That does not mean He has deserted you; it means He is developing you.